Workshop feedback & follow-up

When I developed my workshop schedule, I had in mind some would be co-ed and some would be women only. Last month’s Budget and Life Planning Workshop had one 30-something man attend. He did no prep work and refused to participate in the workshop activity of drafting a budget and tweeking it throughout the session. One of the women was very emotional and effusive about her life experiences. Every line of her budget was related to a hardship in her life. As I walked her through how to pull her information together to create a more representative budget for herself, she shared more and more personal details about her life. The sharing was in loud and somewhat astonished outbursts. At first the man laughed at everything she said. Admittedly, her delivery was often funny. However, her content was truly heartbreaking. There was a point where I couldn’t catch my breath and almost blacked out from laughing so hard – not at one of the traumas. The whole room was laughing, including her.

At no point was my laughter in ridicule. The man seemed to be laughing with judgment. Towards the end, he seemed to warm up and began sharing personal stories as well. He asked if he could pray for the room. We agreed. His prayer included an ad for his business.

His energy and intent were off and offputting.

I had invited him and his wife because I thought we could collaborate on workshops where I wanted to focus on body-image and self-esteem. His business is a mentorship for young athletes. He came alone. Who wants a collaborator who doesn’t prep or participate and laughs at partipants?He was one of two men who signed up for this month’s workshop, Navigating Trauma. I was extremely apprehenive. With men in the room, I figured it would turn into a very basic informational meeting about the mechanics of trauma.

My relief was heartfelt when he text’d to say he wasn’t attending, but his wife would be there. Even more relieved when the other man didn’t show. I shared my relief with everyone in the room, including the wife. They all felt the same. They also verbalized how different it would be with male energy and presence in the room.

I took that as confirmation to keep all the emotional baggage review workshops to women only. Perhaps, only allow men to register for the budget and reentry workshops. My heart is for women, but I’m a helper who knows some men can benefit from women gathered for healing.

The consensus in the room was for a trauma workshop series to dig deeper into types and remedies. I’m willing to do that.

An amazing follow up from the Budget & Life Planning Workshop was the woman with the emotional commentary for her line items, returned for Navigating Trauma. The first thing she shared was that what she spent on one of her recreational line items over three years could have completely paid off a debt she’s been struggling with for years. Recognizing that led her to make real time adjustments.

Being able to share tools, and the training to use them, with people so they can help themselves is its own reward.